A Spider Mum for Mom

Last night I attended the graduation ceremony of our youngest child, Aaron. I managed not to cry yesterday, but this morning I'm sitting here looking at the Spider Mum he gave me (their class flower) with mixed emotions, memories, and I'm pretty sure that the tears I've been trying to bravely hold in check are planning to overtake me at any moment! 


I've said this before, but being a mother has been the most challenging and  rewarding part of my life.  This morning I'm faced with the bittersweet reality that my three children are all grown up. And while I will always be their mother, they no longer need me as they once did...a thought that is both liberating and heartbreaking all at the same time! Oh yeah, bring on the tissues...

 I'm thinking over their lives growing up and cannot comprehend where the time has gone. Just yesterday they needed us for everything, and now we've got our last one headed to college and the older two will be a junior and senior this fall. When did they grow up? Was I not looking? I so miss the little kids who needed me to be their "mommy." And what if I did it wrong...what if I didn't give them the tools they need to strike out in the world?  As we all continue the journey, not quite so much together now, I'm afraid for them and for me!


I realize there's a point where I have to just let go and have faith, but that's really hard for me...my family is my life! I know there is so much to look forward to like college graduations, weddings, grandchildren, and much more. But today, I'm missing my little girl and boys who needed me to hold their hands, pick them up when they fell, and drive them to school. It's like a movie in my mind...school, sports, meals, movies, emergencies, celebrations, dimply smiles, and tears, too.


God has blessed me with a wonderful soul mate, and it is such a joy to look at Chelsea, Justin, and Aaron and see so much of both of us blended into our children. After almost 25 years on the journey together, Mike and I are turning the corner to start down a new path...future, here we come!