Meet the Silver Lining

It's been a sleep-deprived few months for me. We married off our oldest child and only daughter (blinking back a tear!), we've been prepping our house for sale (where did all this junk come from?), I facilitated the move of the office across campus to a space at about half the size but with at least twice the challenges (including a sporadically functioning elevator!), and last week I was graced with a head cold.

But today, instead of bemoaning my losses (in no particular order)...daughter, house, office, things I can't even think of because lack of sleep has destroyed so many brain cells...I've decided to look for the silver lining!  

So let me think...until recently, I'd been getting quite a bit of exercise, I've lost 2.5 pounds, the housing market is picking up, and oh yeah, I've gained a son-in-law!  

About a year and half ago the future son-in-law sent me this text,

So you, mike, and I need to sit down and have a talk about my intentions soon. When's good for you? 

We planned a lunch at Applebee's in response and enjoyed a nice meal with light conversation. We paid the check and the three of us just sat there in silence. And just when I thought we'd be heading back to work unrewarded, Curt asked our permission to marry Chelsea. While it may seem old-fashioned, we were thoroughly impressed!

It's been a great 2 1/2 years getting to know Curt and his family: Scott & Carol, Paul & Kristen, and Ryan & Bonnie. It's been easy to like Curt from the beginning...he's smart, funny, thoughtful, and laughs at my jokes (or at least he's kind enough to humor me...pun intended)! But most of all, it's obvious that he loves our daughter with all his heart!

So everyone please welcome the newest member of our family, Curt James Toppin. And while I'm not in any hurry, I can't help but smile at the prospect of curly-haired grandchildren ;)

Welcome to our family Curt!

The Toppin Clan

Throwing out my smartphone...kinda!

As I got frustrated that the newest app on my smartphone wasn't working, I asked myself what I did before I had a smartphone. Then I wondered what did I do before I had a cellphone. Life was much simpler before my cellphone was constantly alerting me to stuff or tempting me to check something like email, Facebook, weather, the list is limited only by the apps installed. And while I don't think I could do without a cellphone entirely, I do feel the need for less distractions, not to mention the cost of having multiple data-based devices.

So here's my theory...I'm going to remove all the extra apps from my smartphone, leaving just the basic items that any phone would have like texting, and oh yes, voice dialing. I have a Mini iPad to use for recreation, organization, and productivity and plan to use that instead of my cellphone. At least if I use my iPad, it will be a conscious choice, not my phone beeping (ie interrupting my life) about every post and email and alert...every minute of every day (and night, too)!

I've always been the first to show off the newest tech toys, but this experiment is designed to help me find a way to use my technology to enhance rather than distract from my life. Here I go, the data is off, the apps are next...old-school, here we come!

Reporting live on the Amtrak...rude Americans abound!

Working in the Study Abroad field, I am constantly reminded that many other cultures/countries find Americans rude. As I sit on an Amtrak train waiting to pull out of Chicago's Union Station, I might have to agree. Since rude implies intent, I could go with oblivious, but the end result is the same...annoying others with selfish behavior.

The annoyance began on the trip to Chicago as we were waiting to board the train in Ottumwa, Iowa. The train was very delayed due to wether which left the waiting room full of noisy patrons for longer than normal. One pair of older gentleman talked so loud, despite sitting right next to each other, that I could hear them over the loud music pulsing through my headphones.

On the train, a man sitting across from us had a loud ring tone, which obviously wasn't silenced, and he proceeded to repeated phone conversations in a normal tone. Add in the music and movie that was playing out loud somewhere nearby behind us, and we were faced with at least 3 sources of rude/oblivious behavior.

Back in the the more recent past, we cued up in a cattle-style waiting area in the Amtrak terminal about two hours ago. Despite being nearly packed with more than an hour until departure, a single traveller sat taking up 3 seats, his briefcase and some other items taking up the two chairs on either side of him. Eventually he moved his stuff from one of the seats so a family of 5 could have 2 seats together. But he didn't bother to move over to allow them 3 seats which lead to the remaining children just standing or sitting in the already overcrowded aisle.

So we boarded the train and proceeded to get comfortable for the 5 hour trip home. As a parent, I'm fairly tolerant of traveling children, but that courtesy does not extend to rude/oblivious parents. A cute little boy one seat ahead of us started his DVD player. Mom sat next to him with a pair of $200 Beats headphones plugged into her smartphone while the boys watched his movie out loud. A woman behind us started a loud, argumentative conversation.

I make a conscious effort to put my mobile on vibrate, I text instead of talking, and I use headphones if I'm listening to a movie or music. I've learned not to travel without the means to block out the rude/oblivious, but why should the burden be on me to compensate for their selfish actions? It shouldn't, and this weekend's travels just serve to remind me to pay attention to how my actions affect others around me, especially while traveling!

Missing the goal, it's not the end of the world!

After a ZERO word day Saturday, I woke up Sunday morning thinking about my writing goals. I've set up a spreadsheet that shows where I am supposed to be each week to meet my deadline. On Sunday, the good news was that I was at 22%...bad news, I was supposed to be at 38%! While the spreadsheet is a nice tool, it's also a burden in that it doesn't take into consideration the peaks and valleys of creativity or my full-time job.

Saturday was a rough day for a few reasons which I won't torture you with, but suffice it to say that bad days color my attitude all around. So back to waking up...so I realize that I was way behind on my writing goals, I was feeling down overall, and wondering why I was writing at all. And just when I was thinking of blowing off writing on Sunday, I was greeted by a movie reference that brought back my hope and faith in myself.

I'm a big fan of the 1998 movie Armageddon...life as we know it threatened by a killer asteroid, an oil-drilling team goes up into space to nuke the asteroid. So at 2 hours into the drilling, the Air Force leader checks in with NASA that they are only at 57 feet; according to the cute little printed and laminated USAF drill time cards, they should be at 200. Panic ensues as the higher-ups assume that means they'll never make the drilling depth and the Earth will be destroyed.

So the main character, Harry Stamper (Bruce Willis) grabs the cards and says, "This is what happens when you drill! We cannot use your Air Force personnel-only drill time card! Who wrote this thing, anyway?"  I turned the movie reference onto my writing goals...goals are great, but missing a mark doesn't mean I cannot finish in time. Creativity is fickle, and honestly, I've always done some of my best work under the pressure of a deadline. I wrote over 1000 words on Sunday despite a late start and a bad mood most of the day.

I may still be behind the mark set by the spreadsheet, but I'm not out of this contest yet!

Freedom Isn't Free

During our recent road trip over the Fourth of July week, Mike and I had the opportunity to spend 5 days exploring some of our great nation's historical sites. Each day it became more and more apparent to me that I take a lot for granted, but more importantly, I was constantly reminded that freedom isn't free.

To say it was HOT is an understatement with day after day of 100+ degree heat. But we were determined to enjoy our vacation, and I just told myself to remember that the founding families didn't have the many modern comforts we enjoy...air conditioning, refrigeration, electricity, bottled water, sunscreen, shorts, running water, the list goes on and on!

The early settlers of America had an extensive list of their own...trans-Atlantic travel, colonization, starvation, poverty, aggressive natives, oppressive kings, revolution, war, slavery, civil war...not to mention the dangers inherent in poor diet and hygiene, disease, and less-than-modern medical practices.

Despite the daunting task of pioneering a new nation, first for England and later for themselves, America's ancestors stepped up with courage, commitment, and sacrifice. Some came of their own accord with hopes and dreams for a better future while others were enslaved by their poverty, their crimes, or the color of their skin. But in the end, they all laid the foundation of this great nation with their blood, sweat, and tears.

Nowhere was this sacrifice more evident than while visiting Arlington National Cemetery where the endless rows of perfectly aligned headstones of soldiers and patriots of every war stand forever at attention, and the tomb of the Unknown Soldier is guarded every minute of every day without fail.  I was humbled at the changing of the guard ceremony and grateful for every single soul who gave their life so that I could be an American.

At Colonial Williamsburg on the Fourth of July, we listened to an Air Force band, a Colonial Drum and Fife Corp, and the Virginia Symphony play patriotic tunes and recognize our nation's veterans and servicemen with each of the military themes. It was moving to see so many stand proudly when their branch theme was played, and even better to see the mass of non-military enthusiastically applauding their service.

I suppose the hardest part of our vacation was seeing these wonderful sites and feeling such profound emotions in light of our nation's current state of affairs. I didn't start this post planning on a political finish, but I just can't seem to help myself!

This country was built on the ideals of freedom and liberty, fueled by the drive of entrepreneurs and competition, fortified by a basic knowledge that individuals have the right to choose for themselves.  Yet along with this freedom comes the responsibility to work hard for both our own and the common welfare.

It pains me deeply to think that the sacrifices of so many, and for so long could be for naught if we relinquish all our freedoms to the federal government. The difference between a president and a king telling me what I can and cannot do is semantics...it's still oppression, and it's still wrong!

Yours,
Silence Dogood


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Below is a list of the places we visited on our patriotic vacation...

• July 1: Lincoln Memorial, National Museum of American History, National Museum of Natural History
• July 2: Arlington National Cemetery, National Archives, National Air and Space Museum, trolley tour of Georgetown (including the National Cathedral)
• July 3: George Washington's home at Mt. Vernon
• July 4: Colonial Williamsburg with an evening performance of the Virginia Symphony and fireworks
• July 5: Thomas Jefferson's home at Monticello

beginning, middle, and end

Today things seemed to come full circle as I edited Chelsea's last two college English papers. I haven't had to do that for her lately, but it reminded me of the beginning of college four years ago when I edited quite a few papers for her.  One of my favorite memories is of a paper where she was really struggling, so I basically wrote the introduction for her.  When she got the paper back from the professor, the only comment was "nice introduction."  We still laugh about that one...well at least I do!

As an English major and the Editor-in-Chief of the college newspaper for the past three years, Chelsea didn't need my help much in the middle of her career.  Once in a while she'd ask for a review, but mostly she did her own thing, developing her personal voice and style which I noticed is quite similar to mine, but has it's own distinctions.

It's graduation on Saturday, so the college chapter of Chelsea's story is coming to an end. This fall she'll start working in the Communications department here at Central College where she'll continue to write and edit all the while continuing to grow her own writing techniques. I'm very proud and excited for her!

Chelsea didn't really need me to edit her papers; my comments were superfluous, mostly differences in style, hers vs. mine, nothing that I couldn't have left alone...well, except a few typos ;)  I know Chelsea was very tired and running late on her papers and just wanted a second set of eyes, but she made my day by needing me again!

Have a Seat?

I've had MS (Multiple Sclerosis) for nearly 20 years now, and I count myself quite lucky that my case is fairly stable and mild in the sense that most cannot tell that I have the disease unless I'm having a bad day. Health wise this year has been quite good for be, overall, but today everyone could tell that I have a physical handicap!

It started last night, the dysfunction in my legs, and this morning they were still quite sluggish. But since this was our weekend "off" from the travels of watching our daughter play college volleyball, we had things we wanted to do in Des Moines...sadly we must travel an hour for a wholesale club, Target, and a descent movie theater. But I digress.

A little shopping and a movie had my energy sapped by 2 pm; I had started out the day using the canes for a little extra support but by the afternoon they had become required. My hubby was kind enough to indulge my desire for Cheesecake Factory for a late lunch. The mall and the restaurant were both packed, and we didn't see the point in seeking out an alternate venue when we received our pager along with its 25 minute sentence.

So I'm barely walking by this time with two arm canes, leaning heavily on a pillar for support, and starting to show my pain level. I'd estimate that there was seating for at least 10, but not a single person offered me their seat in that 25 minutes. I suppose I'm more attuned to the needs of the disabled due to my own challenges, and I suspect that my family is as well, but Mike and I were both saddened by the lack of common courtesy.

When did society stop offering it's seat to someone on crutches or pregnant or elderly? I guarantee that no one, not even me, gives a second thought to their ability to stand or walk until it's lost or limited. And while I would not wish my physical limitations on anyone, I do wish for greater understanding and compassion. I could probably go on, but I don't want my point obscured by my pain, fatigue, and frustration.

I will just close with Philippians 2:4 "Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also the interests of others."